


One Way or Another

by Heart_Seoul_Soshi



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 20:36:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15151340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heart_Seoul_Soshi/pseuds/Heart_Seoul_Soshi
Summary: Mal's pesky devotion to her best friend blows up in her face when Evie drafts her into being her fake girlfriend, for the sole purpose of driving a certain "charming" ex-boyfriend completely up the wall.





	One Way or Another

**Author's Note:**

> from an anonymous request on tumblr

It was funny how life had ways of bringing and keeping certain people together. Mal and Evie, for example. At six years old, Mal had spied her from a castle balcony. In high school, Mal found her obliviously sitting in her seat. At prep school (of all places) they were roommates, and even now, in college, they were roommates once more. But it wasn't just thirteen years of coincidentally skirting past each other, no, Mal and Evie had long since been the best of friends.  
  
But it was mornings like this—when she was jarred awake by the sounds of Evie slamming the door open and heels rushing across the floor—that Mal felt their friendship dangled by a flimsy thread.

"We have a problem," Evie quickly said, rightly assuming her door slam had woken Mal and storming over to the edge of her bed.  
  
"Yeah, she's five foot four and apparently has a death wish," Mal growled into her pillow.  
  
"Try five foot ten and in desperate need of a restraining order."  
  
Mal was wide awake then, eyes snapping open.  
  
"...Oh my god.  _Chad??"_  she said the name like most people say "mildew" or "dumpster".  
  
"Back in town from Cinderellasburg," Evie fretfully nodded, watching Mal sit up in bed.  
  
"I thought Cinderellasburg was supposed to be permanent," Mal grumbled.  
  
"Yes, well, Chad never was good with big words."  
  
Chad Charming, Evie's high school boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, more precisely, with very heavy emphasis on "ex".  
  
"Mal, I need a favor."  
  
Evie invited herself to sit down on the bed, jostling Mal.  
  
"I'm not turning into a dragon and eating Chad. I have self-respect," Mal flatly said, brushing her bedhead out of her face.  
  
"Not a dragon sort of favor, more like a spiteful, petty revenge sort of favor."  
  
"My specialty," Mal yawned. "Go on."  
  
Spiteful, petty revenge aside, Evie wasn't expecting Mal to cave quite so easily. So it was with twiddling thumbs and a heavily drawn-out breath that she put her thoughts together to explain. Avoiding Mal's eyes the entire time she did.  
  
"Okay, well...Chad was a terrible boyfriend."  
  
"Water is wet," Mal deadpanned.  
  
"He was possessive, and shallow, and mean-spirited, and nothing drove a wedge between us more than how he hated how close I was to you."  
  
Mal reached out and put a hand on Evie's shoulder.  
  
"E, you are my very best friend, but if you don't tell me something I don't already know and give me a chance to salvage my sleep, I'm going to have to demote you to 'blue-haired acquaintance'."  
  
"I'm not dating," Evie quickly got to the point, hearing the crackle of the thin ice under her feet. "And if Chad comes back and finds out I'm single, his royal ego is going to think it's because I never got over him."  
  
"True," Mal nodded. "If you want to rub your fabulous college life in Chad's face, you'll need a boyfriend."  
  
"...Not exactly," Evie quietly said, very absorbed in the thumb-twiddling. "You see, M, seeing as  _you_ were always the thing in my life that seriously drove Chad crazy..."  
  
It was mornings like this that Mal felt their friendship dangled by a flimsy thread.  
  
"...You better not be saying what I think you're saying," Mal warned, narrowing sleepy eyes.  
  
"Technically, I'm implying."  
  
"That I be your  _girlfriend??"_  
  
"Fake girlfriend."  
  
Very, very flimsy threads of friendship indeed.  
  
Mal's head rolled on a swivel as she looked all around the dorm room, taking in the sight of it in the morning sun.  
  
"Where am I? Am I still dreaming? Is this some horribly vivid nightmare I'm unwittingly trapped in?"  
  
Evie's face furrowed into an almighty pout, she crossed her arms and tapped an irritated finger on her sleeve.  
  
"Since when is the thought of dating me a horrible nightmare?" she demanded.  
  
"Since I'm not your girlfriend! Evie, no. I've always refrained from telling you 'this is a terrible idea' because you're a genius and those words are nearly impossible to say to you, but this is a terrible idea."  
  
"Mal, please!" Evie clasped her hands together, begging. "It won't even be forever! We'll just put on a show for Chad while he's here, hold hands, tell cutesy stories, make him  _furious,_  and then when he hits the road everything will go back to normal!"  
  
"...This is a terrible idea, and I'm going back to sleep."  
  
Mal yanked the sheets away from where Evie had gone on to desperately clench them in her hands and flopped back onto her pillow, pulling the covers all the way up over her head. Evie sat and stared a moment at the steadily breathing lump that was the daughter of Maleficent. Mal wasn't budging. So Evie rose to her feet with a sigh, slowly walking away from the bed.  
  
"...Mal, I hate to do this, but...I  _am_ my mother's daughter, after all."  
  
A messy head of purple peeked out suspiciously from under the covers.  
  
"You remember last year when a certain dragon so very carelessly set fire to the campus gym?" Evie curiously asked.  
  
Both of them knew darn well that Evie already had her answer.  
  
"You remember how a certain girl genius went in afterwards and so very expertly staged the whole fiasco to look like faulty wiring?"  
  
Mal propped herself up on one elbow, listening more intently than she'd care to admit.  
  
"You remember how a certain very guilty girl uttered a very indebted 'Evie, I owe you big time'?"  
  
A pause. A silence.  
  
"...You're  _evil,"_  Mal spat.  
  
"Mother's daughter," Evie happily reminded her, turning back around to Mal. "So we have a deal?"  
  
A longer pause. A longer silence.  
  
"...I am  _not_  kissing you," Mal insisted with a fierce glower befitting her dragon side.  
  
"We can negotiate the terms later," Evie leaned over the bed and held out her hand. She sported a wickedly triumphant smile. "Shake and call it even."  
  
"...There are a lot of things I'd call this. 'Even' is not one of them," despite the grumblings, Mal begrudgingly shook on it.  
  
She knew it didn't matter if Chad was in town for the day, the week, a few weeks, heck, even months. No matter what length of time Chad stuck around for, it was going to be a very, very long one indeed.

* * *

 

Tearing his mozzarella stick to shreds, Carlos couldn't believe he got dragged out of homework for  _this._  
  
"It's been fifteen minutes," he noted.  
  
Mal, sitting next to him at the table, lolled her head to the side to look at him.  
  
"This is Chad we're talking about. Assuming he can tell time is a bit of a stretch."  
  
Jay snorted into his soda.  
  
"And what about Evie?" Carlos questioned.  
  
"Evie is Evie, and therefore fashionably late," Mal explained.  
  
"Okay, well, do you have an answer for  _why_ we're having dinner with  _Chad?"_  
  
Mal sighed, absentmindedly twirling her fork in her fingers.  
  
"I really don't."  
  
"Speak of the Charming..." Jay muttered.  
  
Two pairs of eyes followed his gaze across the restaurant, and there was the man of the hour. Ridiculously smug grin, tailored outfit, pretentiously styled hair. Watching him swagger across the room was almost enough to make all three VKs regret ever leaving the Isle of the Lost.  
  
"Jay. Carlos. ...Mal," the even more smug smile he greeted them all with when he reached the table faltered and hardened at the sight of Mal.  
  
"Chad," the three said back at the same time.   
  
He took a seat in between Jay and Carlos, much to the boys' chagrin.  
  
"So? No Evie?" he curiously noted.  
  
"Fashionably late," all three of them again spoke in sync.  
  
"Ah, yep. That's our Evie."  
  
Mal bristled like a cat. "Our Evie". Like she was a thing to be shared, or just a thing in general. The way Chad was infamous for seeing and treating her the entire time they dated. Hours ago, Mal was hating this whole plan, but all it took was two words to make her lips and tongue burn with the taste for revenge. "Our Evie".  
  
"...There she is," Mal said, spotting Evie walking into the dining room.  
  
Fashionably late, and just fashionable in general. Mal allowed herself a sly smile. Of course Evie would show up to dinner with an ex-boyfriend in a killer outfit and ethereally perfect makeup.  
  
"Hello everyone," there was a dainty bounce in her step and her entire demeanor as she came to the table. "Chad, glad you could make it."  
  
"We could say the same about you," Mal teased.  
  
She watched the delinquent glint flash to life in Evie's eyes. Evie took her seat in the empty chair on Mal's other side, setting her purse down by her feet.  
  
"You're hilarious," Evie said with a sassy roll of the eyes.  
  
"You think so?"  
  
"No. Not at all," the bite in Evie's words was dulled by the way she leaned over and gifted Mal a kiss. "Hi, Mal."  
  
"Hi babe," Mal's mischievous smile turned soft.  
  
Three boys turned into expert impersonators of gaping goldfish.  
  
"Uh..." a bug-eyed Carlos managed to speak fairly well with his jaw on the floor. "Sorry, I just meant, uh..."  
  
"Wait, what? You two??" Chad blurted, very un-princely of him. "You two are a two??"  
  
"Can't tell time, but he can count," Carlos mumbled under his breath.  
  
Jay had absolutely no idea in Isle or Auradon how he caught on first.  
  
"Hey, you've been gone awhile, bro. A lot can happen after high school," he forced a nervous smile. Chad was too dense to notice.  
  
Carlos caught on next, slowly but surely.  
  
"...Yeah, I mean, it's been a long time coming," he valiantly forced a smile too. "Mal and Evie, Evie and Mal, it was bound to happen eventually."  
  
"Was it?" Chad questioned, part jeering, part genuinely confused.  
  
"Aren't you seeing anyone these days, Chad?" Evie innocently batted her eyes at him.  
  
He haughtily puffed up in his chair, looking very much like a ridiculous bird.  
  
"Well, with all the girls swooning and throwing themselves at my feet everytime I walk by, it's hard to pick just one," he bragged.  
  
"Of course, of course, I remember what that's like. Princes were so easy to trip over with them laying at my feet," Evie fired back. "But it turns out I didn't need a prince, all I needed was a best friend."  
  
"How sweet," Chad visibly stifled an eye roll.  
  
Mal and Evie would've high-fived if they could get away with it. Already their scheme was working, already Chad was fighting the urge to squirm in his seat at the sight and thought of Evie with Mal.  
  
"Well, clearly we've got some catching up to do, and this is the perfect place to do it, so I say we go ahead and order dinner," Evie fixed a pleasant smile onto her features and opened up her menu. "M, what was it that we got the last time we had a date here?"  
  
"Some kind of lasagna," Mal dutifully answered, looking over Evie's shoulder and studying the same menu.  
  
"Yes, that was  _so_  good."  
  
"I'll order it. You can eat off my plate."  
  
Evie's eyes lit up.  
  
"Mal, you're great," she leaned over and kissed Mal on the cheek.  
  
"Only great? What do I have to do to be the best?"  
  
"Share your dessert."  
  
Chad's expression read like someone had just asked him to find the square root of a very large number.  
  
"So...what? You guys are just...randomly dating?"  
  
He looked to Evie, skipped Mal entirely, then looked to Carlos, then to Jay. Carlos and Jay, for all their quick thinking and ability to play along, didn't have a solid answer and left it up to Evie.  
  
"No, Chad, we're official," she told him with a proud smile. "Mal is my girlfriend."  
  
Chad leaned back in his chair, overcome with a bewildered laugh.  
  
"I leave town and you date girls," he said incredulously, partly to himself.  
  
"You leave town and I date  _a_  girl, a very amazing and incredible girl," Evie corrected, not able to fight off a smug smirk at the way Chad wholeheartedly disapproved.  
  
"So Mal is your girlfriend," he had to keep repeating the concept to himself, unable to get a grasp on it. "I should've figured. You two have always been like, way too close. Like,  _way_ too close."  
  
"No, pretty sure that was just you hating the fact that Evie had a life outside of you," Mal smoothly said.  
  
Evie gave Mal's hand a little squeeze, acting like she was comforting and calming her.  
  
"M, be nice. The past is in the past. It's been forever since high school and forever since Chad and I," she softly said. "We're all here as friends now."  
  
Chad tried to fake an agreement. He didn't get very far.  
  
"Yeah...friends," he grimly repeated. "...You know, guys, I think I left my car lights on. So I better go...check on that."  
  
He hadn't bolted that fast since the time a certain princess was stuck in Sherwood Forest with a flat tire, but bolt he did, disappearing from the dining room and out of the restaurant. Mal let out a relieved breath like she'd been holding it in all night, which really wasn't much of an exaggeration.  
  
_"Finally,_  is it over?" she demanded, tugging her hand from Evie's.  
  
"Oh no, he'll be back," Evie answered with a nod. "He's not about to let us win this one."  
  
"Then he's just taking a minute to get his fat head screwed on right," Mal guessed.  
  
"And while he's doing that, how about we take a minute to explain what the heck is going on??" Carlos interrupted.  
  
It was then that Evie realized the poor boys had been sitting there completely in the dark, doing a commendable job of playing along but still utterly lost nonetheless.  
  
"We're getting revenge on Chad," she simply explained.  
  
_"Evie_  is getting revenge on Chad," Mal corrected with a grumble.  
  
"Getting revenge on a guy you haven't seen in years by...pretending to date Mal?" Jay didn't follow.  
  
Mal waited patiently as Evie tried to explain even further, waited patiently to hear some part of Evie's crazy scheme that would actually make sense to her. And Mal knew she was in for a very long wait.  
  
"Well, we all remember how terrible Chad was when we dated at Auradon Prep," Evie began. "And when you reunite with a terrible boyfriend after years and years, you need to have a fabulous new life with a fabulous new significant other, preferably one who will drive the previous significant other  _completely_  up the wall."  
  
"So you picked Mal??" Carlos asked.  
  
Although Mal agreed with the sentiment, she wasn't quite sure she liked that tone.  
  
"Chad  _never_ liked my friendship with Mal, it drove him up the wall to begin with. There's no one more perfect for this than her."  
  
Jay shook his head.  
  
"This is a terrible idea."  
  
"Thank you!" Mal blurted.  
  
"M, I told you, this is only temporary. It's a scheme just like any other scheme we would've cooked up in the past. So please, can we at least get through dinner without arguing about it?"  
  
Mal rolled her eyes, then narrowed them to a glare.  
  
"Yes dear," she bitterly snapped.  
  
"This is not going to end well..." Carlos mumbled under his breath.  
  
"Look, Chad's coming back," Evie gently elbowed Mal, her signal to get back into character.  
  
And for her credit, Mal did an excellent job of it, suddenly all smiles for Evie as Chad returned to the table and took his seat with his best "absolutely unbothered" face.  
  
"...So, what else is new?" he easily started, segueing into conversation like he'd never left it in the first place. "Are Jay and Carlos dating now too?"  
  
"Not on your life," Jay dryly said, helping himself to a mozzarella stick.  
  
"Chad, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were jealous," Evie told him with a smirk.  
  
The prince looked rather royally offended.  
  
"Wha—? Me, jealous?? Of what?"  
  
"Of the fact that I have a girlfriend and you don't."  
  
"You don't have a girlfriend, you have Mal," Chad crudely scoffed.  
  
Mal didn't let the snide jab bother her.  
  
"E, don't be mean," she laced her fingers through Evie's with the softest of smiles. "Of course he doesn't have a girlfriend, you're not an easy girl to get over."  
  
Evie was happy to wear a coy and flirty smile.  
  
"How would you know, Mal? Trying to get over me?" she slyly teased.  
  
Mal took a page out of Jay's book.  
  
"Not on your life."  
  
The rest of dinner passed by in something very similar to a hazy blur, at least for Mal. One minute she was picking halfheartedly at a lasagna, fearing her IQ might actually drop if she had to sit and listen to Chad talk any longer, and the next minute she and Evie were in the safety of their dorm room, changing into cozy pajamas and readying to climb into their beds.  
  
"Please tell me Chad was only in town for today," Mal begged, pulling her pajama shirt over her head and already knowing the answer.  
  
Evie sighed.  
  
"I care about you too much to lie to you, M."  
  
"Then we have to keep up this stupid act??"  
  
Evie planted her hands squarely on her hips with a telltale huff.  
  
"I would like to know what exactly is so stupid about pretending to date me! I am beautiful and intelligent and you would be lucky to have me, Mal!"  
  
"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that," Mal burrowed under her covers and pulled them up over her head.  
  
But Evie had a penchant for getting her way, so she crossed the dorm room to climb Mal's bed and clamber onto the belligerent lump snuggled beneath the sheets.  
  
"Are you mad that we kissed?" she asked.  
  
"Evie, would you drop it?" Mal's voice was muffled from under the covers.  
  
"No, not until you tell me why you're so offended by the thought of acting like my girlfriend!"  
  
"Because you're my best friend! I don't want to think about dating you and kissing you, it's weird!"  
  
"Fine, then don't think of it as dating me and kissing me, think of it as what it really is—showing up Chad. And just for a little while longer, he'll be gone before you know it."  
  
But Chad's version of "gone before you know it" was something closer to "sticking around for another two weeks and popping up unexpectedly like a cursed jack in the box". Evie, majoring in fashion design and minoring in business management, was in the middle of some horrendously number-crunching homework when her phone started lighting up with texts from Chad. Mal only had to glance at the expression on her best friend's face to know exactly who it was.  
  
"How and why have you two never changed your numbers after all this time?" she snidely questioned.  
  
"It's moments like these that I really wish I had. Chad wants to...double date?" Evie narrowed her eyes like she'd misread the screen.   
  
"...Say what?"  
  
"A double date, at the movies."  
  
"As in you and me, and Chad and someone else?" Mal couldn't wrap her head around it. "What, does he have a fake girlfriend now too?"  
  
"Probably, you know Chad," Evie sighed, giving up on homework. "Couldn't stand us winning so he decided that two can play this game."  
  
"So now we have to go to the movies with him?" Mal groaned.  
  
"...I'll buy the popcorn," Evie helpfully suggested, hoping beyond hope she could coax Mal into this.  
  
And lucky for her, Mal was a sucker for her best friend.  
  
That afternoon saw them waiting outside the ticket window, staring out into the parking lot and keeping a reluctant eye out for Chad.  
  
"It's completely beside the point, but it's been forever since you and I have been to the movies. I'm excited...even  _if_ Chad is coming along," Evie said, mustering a smile.  
  
"...We haven't had a lot of Mal and Evie time lately, have we?" Mal somberly realized.  
  
"We're busy girls," Evie sadly shrugged.  
  
"We're best friends. And Mal and Evie time is supposed to be more than us just sitting in our dorm doing homework. What did we say when we started college?"  
  
"Exactly what you're saying now, that we wouldn't drift apart."  
  
"Then I think—as stupid as it is—if this whole Chad thing means we get to spend more time together, it's a good start," Mal reached down and held Evie's hand.  
  
Evie giggled.  
  
"Mal, I already said I'd buy the popcorn, you don't have to sweet-talk me," she joked.  
  
They took a moment to share in a laugh, with both the moment and the laughter abruptly screeching to a halt when they recognized Chad's ridiculously ostentatious Auradon Prep graduation present zooming into the parking lot.  
  
"Who do you think he got to play along?" Mal idly asked. "Anyone we know?"  
  
"Probably lined up all those girls he has groveling at his feet and had them draw straws. Okay, time to go to work. Hold my hand."  
  
"I  _am_ holding your hand."  
  
"Oh," Evie sheepishly remembered.  
  
They watched Chad's head bobbing through the parking lot, cars strategically blocking their view of the girl at his side. Mal and Evie should've counted it as a blessing.  
  
_"...Audrey??"_  they both blurted.  
  
Audrey, her arm looped through Chad's, came to a stunned stop in front of them.  
  
"Mal? Evie?  _They're_ our double date? They're _dating??"_  the princess was just as bewildered.  
  
"Audrey, hi, so good to see you too," Mal grumbled.  
  
Evie, despite her great desire to not be, was at a loss for witty banter. Mal and Sleeping Beauty's daughter may have found something akin to a shaky peace treaty years ago after the king's coronation, but the Evie/Audrey rivalry never really came to an end. Leave it to Chad to bring her along, his own personal game of revenge.  
  
"I guess I should've figured I'd see you two together someday. You guys were always way too close," Audrey said.  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" Mal demanded with a scowl.  
  
Evie elbowed her.  
  
"...Yeah, Evie and I have this whole 'meant to be' thing going on," Mal corrected herself, remembering to play along.  
  
"Aw, just like me and Chad," Audrey giggled, suckerfishing herself even tighter to Chad's arm. "Back together again after all these years. So, movie?"  
  
"Movie," Evie nodded.  
  
Calling upon her inner actress, she followed Audrey's lead and curled her arm tight around Mal's, keeping close to her as they all bought their tickets and walked inside the theater. Chad and Audrey went on ahead, already getting in line for popcorn and snacks.  
  
"Okay, movie date. How do we fake a movie date?" Mal asked.  
  
"Um, reach for the popcorn at the same time, share each other's candy, cuddle in the dark, make out during the boring parts."  
  
"We are  _not_  making out!" Mal harshly whispered.  
  
"M, look, I know it's weird, but Chad is playing us at our own game now! He brought Audrey along, for crying out loud!"  
  
"Okay, E, when the daughter of Maleficent tells you your revenge kick might be getting slightly out of hand, you may want to listen."  
  
"Mal, you remember all of it," Evie started to soften. "All the fights between Chad and I, all the nights of me crying on your bed...all those times I had to stop you from running off and putting Chad's head through a wall."  
  
Mal let out a heavy sigh, not at all pleased to feel her resolve wavering.  
  
"I'm not guilt-tripping you," Evie promised. "I'm just...this is why I'm so set on this crazy scheme. Yes, I know it's crazy, but Chad is back, and I can't let him leave again thinking he still has a hold over me."  
  
"This whole thing is just proving that he does," Mal argued, sternly crossing her arms as she met Evie's eyes.  
  
"Fine, then I can work on that when he's gone, but for now? For now, I need to majorly show him up. Please, Mal, just keep going along with all of this."  
  
Someday, Mal was going to look back on her life and regret every single decision she made under the influence of her best friend's puppy dog eyes.  
  
"...After this, you owe  _me_ big time," Mal snapped, jabbing an accusing finger in Evie's direction.  
  
And Evie had no idea what that was supposed to mean, until Mal silently cupped her face in her hands and fiercely kissed her. Eyes closed, fingers slowly climbing a path into Evie's hair, the whole nine yards. Mal searched Evie's expression when they came up for air, saw the utter confusion and the lost gaze.  
  
"I'm making it believable," Mal said.  
  
"Oh. Good idea."  
  
So Evie played along on the next kiss, putting on a smile and sounding off a delighted giggle, the two of them keeping at it until Chad and Audrey returned with a big bag of popcorn to share between them.  
  
"What, you can't even wait until you get into the movie?" Chad jeered, snidely looking down at Mal and Evie.  
  
"You've seen this face," Mal brushed her fingers across Evie's cheek. "Can you blame me?"  
  
Chad rolled his eyes, not bothering to hide it.  
  
"You always did have heart eyes for Evie, even back at Auradon Prep," Audrey cooly said.  
  
Mal had a vehement denial ready and waiting, Evie dredged up a "What on earth are you talking about?" at the accusations, but knee-deep in the middle of their fiendish plans it was to their advantage to roll with such punches.   
  
"Mal grew up with the son of Jafar as her partner in crime, of course she has an eye for treasure," Evie haughtily said, curling an arm around Mal's waist.  
  
"And there's no better treasure than Evie," Mal smiled that dimple-flashing smile of hers.  
  
"...Cute," Audrey practically grimaced.  
  
"You two go ahead and find seats, okay?" Evie said. "Mal and I are going to get some popcorn."  
  
The two "couples" parted ways again, with the royals disappearing deeper into the theater while the girls found their place in line.  
  
"So where exactly are we in this relationship?" Mal asked, prying herself loose from Evie and shoving her hands in her pockets now that the two idiots were gone.  
  
"There's a question I never thought I'd hear from you..." Evie muttered under her breath.  
  
"Are we in love? Are we saying I love you yet?"  
  
"Let's save the I love yous for an emergency situation. For now, we're just a couple months in, the kind of head over heels infatuation that will make Chad snap."  
  
"Which means I'm probably going to buy that bag of cotton candy right there and feed it to you during the movie, right?"  
  
Evie's eyes followed to where Mal pointed to the rack of candy.  
  
"M, you're a genius," she beamed.  
  
"Pink or blue?"  
  
"Do you even have to ask?"  
  
Mal grabbed a bag of blue cotton candy as they moved up in line.  
  
"...Hey, E?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"What Chad and Audrey have been saying, about how they're not surprised to see us 'together'...what the heck is that supposed to mean?" Mal curiously wondered.  
  
"They're just trying to get under our skin," Evie answered with a shake of her head, as if shaking the memory away.  
  
"I mean, you and I, we're not...we haven't ever... _you_ haven't ever—"  
  
"No, Mal, of course not," Evie laughed Mal's babbling off. "We're best friends, I would never think of you that way."  
  
"Cool, good. Because that would just be weird."  
  
"Weirder than kissing me?"  
  
"That...actually wasn't as weird as I thought it was going to be," Mal shyly admitted. "The kiss just now and the kiss that night at dinner. I guess it's because it's you."  
  
Mal shrugged, not wanting to think too hard about it. Sure, it wasn't as weird as she thought it would be, but she was still kissing Evie. It was still plenty weird. She shut herself up with the popcorn, already starting to munch on it as she and Evie walked their way to the right theater.  
  
It was dark, and as soon as they settled into their seats they settled into their schemes. In full view of Chad, Evie leaned over the armrest to snuggle in close to Mal, with Mal stretching an arm around her shoulders. From the corners of their eyes they watched Chad do the same to Audrey, determined not to be beaten. They sat like that all the way through the previews, and when the movie actually started Evie paid it no mind.  
  
"Does he look mad?" she tilted her head up to whisper in Mal's ear.  
  
Mal, acting as the physical buffer between her fake girlfriend and her family nemesis, sat closer to Chad than Evie did.  
  
"Irritated is probably the better word," Mal told her, glancing past Audrey and seeing how the young Charming was a few steps short of mad.  
  
Well, Evie couldn't stand for that.  
  
She made a show of ignoring the movie to plant a trail of absentminded kisses on Mal, from her neck, to her jawline, to her cheek, to the corner of her mouth. Mal stiffened in her seat the very instant warm lips kissed her neck, wishing Evie would have warned her before she went ahead and decided to be  _evil._ She salvaged the situation with a playful laugh, something to draw the attention of the royal pains.  
  
"Baby," her giggle grew less and less fake; Evie tickled. "I'm trying to watch the movie."  
  
"Tell me I'm not more interesting," Evie quietly teased.  
  
"You are, but we paid for the tickets, might as well use them."  
  
They swore they could  _hear_  Audrey and Chad rolling their eyes.  
  
"You're terrible," Evie pouted, sitting back in her seat.  
  
With the hand that wasn't keeping ahold of the popcorn, Mal reached over and laced her fingers with Evie's in apology, an automatic reaction despite its fakeness. Holding hands with Evie always came without a second thought. Bringing Evie's hand to her lips and softly kissing it was  _not_  a thing that Mal did on a daily basis, but she employed it anyway for the sake of the game.  
  
For the entire movie they kept up the charade. Evie's head found its way again and again to Mal's shoulder, a gesture that always came to  _her_ without a second thought. Mal was always so comfortable no matter what, and Evie liked the feel of being close to her, feeling her moving and breathing underneath her. She thought up a little code that Mal quickly deciphered; brushing her nose against Mal's jaw when she wanted more popcorn, and nuzzling against her ear when she wanted a bite of cotton candy. Chad and Audrey, for their credit, did an excellent job of acting like they weren't watching in disgust out of the corners of their eyes.  
  
Evie loved it. Ruining Chad's life and being with Mal was definitely two birds with one stone.  
  
"We're winning," Evie whispered into Mal's ear with a smile. "They're not even  _trying_ to fight back."  
  
The two Auradon kids had been sitting rather stiff and still through the movie.  
  
"Wow, they even suck at a fake relationship," Mal shrewdly noted.  
  
"Chad's going to run off with his tail between his legs," Evie treated herself to a wicked grin.  
  
And in all her triumphant excitement, the kiss she placed on Mal's cheek suddenly wasn't fake at all.  
  
By the time the movie was over, amidst all the kisses and the handholding and the cutesy couple thing, they all but forgot they were supposed to be making Chad jealous.  
  
Evie and Chad came out of the theater hand in hand with their respective "girlfriends", Evie doing her best to keep her smile pleasant, not smug.  
  
"So Chad, when will Mal and I be seeing you again?" she innocently wondered.  
  
The prince flashed a grin of his own, making no effort to conceal how absolutely conceited it was.  
  
"Actually Evie, it's been fun, but Audrey and I are probably going to head back to Cinderellasburg before the week is out," he said.  
  
"But it was  _so_ good to see you guys. Wish we could've stayed longer," Audrey lied through her teeth.  
  
Mal, in all her practiced evilness, put the icing on the revenge cake by moving behind Evie and slipping her arms around her waist, resting her chin on Evie's shoulder.  
  
"Aw, too bad, maybe in another three or four years," she chided, absentmindedly rocking Evie back and forth.  
  
Evie let her eyes close and a blissful expression claim her features, making believe it was the most soothing thing in the world to be swayed in Mal's arms. Which, really, wasn't such a hard thing to fake.  
  
"Yes, I guess we'll see you when we see you," Evie peeked open one eye to watch Audrey and Chad silently fume in the knowledge that they were being played like fiddles.  
  
There were no long and drawn-out goodbyes between the pairs, Chad and Audrey left with well-acted waves before turning to cross through the parking lot and drive off in Chad's flashy car. Mal and Evie didn't "disband" as it were until they watched with their own eyes as the car roared and zoomed off down the road, disappearing into the distance.  
  
"...So he's gone? We're done??" Mal desperately asked, letting go of Evie.  
  
Evie had grown accustomed to satisfying feelings in the years since coming to Auradon, but nothing was quite as satisfying as this.  
  
"...I did it!!" she cheered.  
  
_"Who_  did it?"   
  
"We did it, sorry," Evie sheepishly corrected, turning to take Mal's hands. "M, thank you, you're the best partner in revenge any girl could ask for."  
  
Even after all the whining and moping over getting suckered into being her best friend's girlfriend, Mal found herself smiling now.  
  
"You know I'm wrapped around your finger, E. And I definitely would've turned into a dragon and eaten Chad if you'd asked me to."  
  
"Well, you're off the hook now. You don't have to be my fake girlfriend anymore," Evie laughed. "But can I be stupidly sentimental and ask for one last kiss?"  
  
Mal playfully rolled her eyes.  
  
"The  _one_ thing I told you we wouldn't be doing when I first agreed to your crazy plan," she sighed. "But, like I said, wrapped around your finger."  
  
So Evie leaned in for her one last kiss, a quick peck on Mal's lips that was short and sweet. When it was over the two stood there just smiling easily at each other the way they always did, unsure of what to say or do next. Making the mistake of staring a little too intently into each other's eyes.  
  
Evie didn't ask permission a second time, and she didn't need to, for when she kissed Mal again they were both surprised to find that Mal kissed her back just as eagerly, just as deeply.   
  
"...What was that?" Evie whispered, her hand on Mal's chest to stop herself from coming in for a third kiss.  
  
"...That's a good question," Mal murmured, eyes watching Evie's lips.   
  
"You're my fake girlfriend for two weeks and already we're used to kissing each other?" Evie tried to laugh it off, like she wasn't suddenly so very confused about the tightness in her chest.  
  
Mal took one giant step back, putting distance between them like one of them was contagious.  
  
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you back like that," she hurriedly apologized. "Forgot that Chad was gone, was still caught up in the act."  
  
"Yeah, me too," Evie said just as quickly, avoiding Mal's eyes. "But, um...we should head back to the university."  
  
She gave a nod of finality to herself and her own words before turning on her heels and starting to walk away. Mal was close behind.  
  
"But for the record, it wasn't as bad as I acted like it was, E. Being your fake girlfriend," Mal said. "It was exactly like being your best friend, actually."  
  
Evie was steadfastly ignoring her, not wanting to think about it. Not wanting to think about whirling around to grab Mal and kiss her again. So maybe they  _had_ gotten a little caught up in their own lie, they were born and raised Isle girls, after all. When they came up with a scheme, they committed to it. But the scheme was over now, and so should've been the girlfriend stuff.  
  
Mal had teased the royals about seeing them again in another three or four years. And with a smile on her face befitting several dwarfs by the names of Happy, Dopey, and Bashful, Mal walked the parking lot and found herself patiently awaiting the next time she got to be Evie's fake girlfriend.  
  
She'd just never admit it to Evie, of course.  
  
And with the tingle of Mal still deliciously on her lips, Evie found herself patiently awaiting the next time too. Maybe she wouldn't even have to wait until Chad was back in town to draft Mal into her genius scheme again, to pull Mal into her embrace or into her kiss with a smile and a fluttering heartbeat. Evie was a very smart girl, after all.   
  
She was sure she’d think of something.


End file.
